We are down to hours now, granted almost 24, but still, in less than a day I will no longer be pregnant and have a wonderful new baby to hold. While I am so done being pregnant, I'm anxious and nervous too. How's that saying go about trading the trouble you know for the one you don't? Yes I'm incredibly uncomfortable and can't wait to have my body at least mostly to myself, but who knows what's to come. Sure I have a vague idea, I have been here before, but really, there are so many variables that I just can't account for them all. Also, I am undergoing a surgery to have the baby. While again I am familiar with this, as I had to have a c-section with Evan as well, there is no guaranty that things will go as well as before.
I've tried to control as many elements of my life surrounding this major event as possible, in an effort to assuage as much of my anxiety as possible. My bags have been packed for a few weeks now, even though the probability of baby making an early appearance were pretty minimal, Evan's bag is packed to stay at grandma's for a few days, and there are many lists. I love a good list, always makes me feel as though something has been accomplished as I cross things off. I've washed laundry, changed the sheets, and stocked up on as much food and toiletries as I could think of. This is not done because I think that the many friends and family around to help are not capable of doing these tasks, but because it makes me feel better to know that they won't have to worry about doing as much. Also, because I may be slightly anal retentive when it comes to how I like things done. It's not as though another way won't work, but I know that my way is the best. Sorry if you didn't know this about me already, but really you should have.
As tomorrow approaches I feel my heart beat a little faster, I pack up the remaining items on the list, thereby crossing them off said list, and try to find a little peace in the fact that tomorrow at this time I will be on my way to feeling a whole lot better. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Now to fold some sheets and vacuum.