Guarded

Wow! So almost two years since my last post. Part of the problem is that I don't make writing a priority. Most of the time my life is boring and normal. Who wants to read about that? However I think most of my issues behind why I don't write is that I'm too guarded. I like to protect myself, keeping most of what happens from day to day to myself. Especially my thought processes and running internal dialoge. I'm concerned about how people will perceive my thoughts and actions. I worry about offending people with my opinions and feelings. If life is going well, will my talking about it make someone feel bad because their life isn't going well? Are my problems trivial in comparison to what someone else is going through? Will I be perceived as a whiner? I hold back for fear of being judged, or felt sorry for. I don't know that I would go as far as saying that I'm pretending that my life is something it's not but I'm not disclosing a lot of information. Keeping my struggles to myself doesn't help anyone relate to me or help them feel like someone else is fighting the fight too.  I'm going to try to let some of that stuff go. Try to be more open in my writing. Perhaps by sharing more openly someone will benefit. I'm hoping that someone will be me. My goal is to take the time on Friday morning while the small one has a class to write something about my week. Maybe nothing of great significance will have happened and that's not necessarily a bad thing. More often than not I think there will be something that I could share that I would have normally kept to myself.