Tuesday, October 9, 2012

A Vortex to Another Dimension

The boy has managed to lose two jackets since the beginning of school a month ago. That's right, two in one month. At this rate he will go through 50 jackets in the span of one school year. The first sweatshirt I had written his name on the existing tag of the jacket in black sharpie. I'll admit it wasn't that easy to see, but it was there. He lost that one in the first week. I looked in the lost and found on the following day and couldn't find it. I also e-mailed his teacher, who also looked for it and wasn't able to locate it. I searched the lost and found a few more times and never saw it. The teacher has also told me that she periodically looks for it, hoping it will turn up. The jacket has seemingly disappeared. Since it was still relatively warm, he went without a jacket for about a week. 

The replacement jacket was a fleece I had bought at Ross for 13 bucks. This time I thought I was being smart. I purchased iron on labels with his name and phone number on them. I ironed on the label to the existing label at the neck of the jacket. Admittedly the labels are quite small, and if you didn't actually look for it you probably wouldn't notice it. I also told him that he wasn't allowed to take the jacket off outside, since this is where he thought he left it. Also, if the jacket came off it had to go in his cubby or backpack. He managed to hold on to this one for exactly two weeks. When I noticed that he didn't have his jacket when I picked him up, I parked the car and we went in search of it. He said he left it in the gym, so we started there. No luck. We moved on to the lost and found which was filled with random misplaced clothing items, none of them belonging to him. We then checked the cubby just in case and also on the playground. Nothing. Another jacket disappeared. Honestly at this point the only thing that makes sense is that somehow the jackets are being sucked thorough a vortex to another dimension. One where that boy has an excess of jackets.  

This time I think I've got the problem solved. I've created a label that I ironed on. It's about a three inch square of light tan fabric, and the jacket is dark green on the inside. Very visible. In fact there is no way that you couldn't see this label. I placed in the bottom corner near the zipper. On it I wrote: Jacket belongs to (name). Please return it to Mrs. Smith's class. I also included my phone number. Now I've told him that he is only allowed to wear the jacket outside along with the previous rules. This will be the real test. If this jacket disappears you know that I have to be right about that vortex thing. I'll keep you posted, I know you're riveted. 

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